Archive for February, 2009

Apologies in Advance

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

So I’m new to the world of maternity jeans.  I”ve been wearing them for about two weeks now. They’re comfortable.   As Leslie has written about, it totally validates that you do not really need buttons in pants ever.  However, let me tell you a cautionary tale of horror and dread and utter mortification…it happened one hour ago as I type….

I was sitting at a restaurant with some colleagues (including my boss!) from work.  We were eating dinner.  It was so nice and we were laughing and joking, etc.  Then the waiter comes up to me and he leans down and he says in my ear (rather loudly) “you need to pull up your pants”.  I hear him loud and clear but the look of utter befuddlement on my face and shere terror/mortification allows me more than a few seconds to process this and I start feeling towards my bottom (which to me, felt totaly covered but maybe my ass has grown a third cheek).  The waiter takes this pause in mortification as me not being able to hear him correctly…my face getting redder and redder…and says a little more loudly “you need to pull up your pants, miss!”.  I do but I am still so confused because I still feel totally covered.  Then everyone at the table is looking at me and is like “what is going on , Megan”…and I just say, with as much dignity as a girl who’s pants are falling down in public unwittingly can “I guess my pants are falling down”. They just started laughing, which is probably the best reaction I could ask for and someone says “oh that is just very funny”.  Someone else says “doesn’t he know you’re pregnant!” (how would he?).

Since I apparently feel like I”m totally covered all the time, I am going to apologize in advance if I ever inadvertantly moon any of you.  I must have very insulated butt cheeks that keep me nice and toasty.  Dangerously low maternity jeans and junk in the trunk do not mix well.  Oil and water and social disaster…

Hrmmm…I wonder if I’ll regret posting this.

“Yup, Definitely a Boy”

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

Lars and I went into get our fetal scan ultrasound a little earlier than you normally would–the doctor wanted to check some things out and said I was far enough along for it to do it now instead of in two weeks.  (All is well, btw).  Anyway–the tech was moving the camera all over my gel-laden belly (oooh lovely image for you!) and she says “if I find out the sex of the baby, do you want to know?”.  Of course we replied “yes!” because lord knows I’m an impatient person.  So she is moving the camera around and pushing down on my tummy and I feel like I’m going to explode because they told me to drink SO SO MUCH WATER AND THEN THEY PUSH ON YOU GOD ISN’T THAT CRUEL AND UNUSUAL?…and then she says what we’ve been waiting to hear…”I think you guys are having a boy.”  [She moves the camera a little bit].  “Yup, definitely a boy!”.


Hooray for Baby Boy Jensen and his exhibitionist ways!  He was moving around a lot during the ultrasound and the tech was having some difficulty getting measurements.  The main measurement she did NOT get was the heart, so we have to go back in three weeks to let her have a look at that.  I can’t explain how amazing it is to hear your baby’s heartbeat (now at 148!) and see him wave his little hand. For me, knowing the sex has really helped me to connect to the little guy. Its so nice to refer to him as a “he” instead of an “it”.

I told my parents the day before that we were going in and there was a chance we would learn the sex if the baby cooperated.  We had to find a time to call them since they were in Buenos Aires, Argentina–so they had us call them (wooo modern technology!) at noon and we had a perfect connection with them. My mom starting crying in the streets of Buenos Aires with the news of her first grandson and my dad apparently thinks he will turn the baby into a sailor so that he finally has SOMEONE to go on the boat with.  (I think I am probably turning baby into a different type of sailor but that’s mostly because I swear like one).

Anyway–Lars and I are thrilled and now I can’t wait to buy little boy clothes and start decorating the nursery.  What fun!

The Age of Aquarius…or something.

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

Libra (Lars) and Leo (Baby Jensen)= Compatible.  In fact, they are a divine match.

Libra (Lars) and Leo (Baby Jensen) =/= Compatible with Capricorn (Megan)

Lars’ reaction this this….”Its not like you were ever going to be the cool parent anyway.”

Kate and I did extreme research on astrology signs over the weekend to try and get a gauge on if our signs were representative of our true selves.  A lot of the things are dead on–and if this is true, I am scared for Baby Leo Jensen.  S/He is a lover and a fighter and a rockstar and I’m afraid he’ll be boundless energy.  I mean, for God’s sake.  I’m a Capricorn.  A Goat.  By some accounts, a “garden goat”.  A goat, my friends, is no rockstar.

Here is one account of me and my future child’s (doomed) relationship…apparently I am a snob AND devious….

Leo and Capricorn? Fire and Earth… Hardly had it begun, when it ended. However, there are some chances… if you manage to convince this Capricorn of some significant details, such as constantly acknowledging your merits.

The prudent and practical Capricorn, who is often a little snob and always a little conservative, will burden Leo’s romantic and enthusiastic personality. Capricorn is a reserved native so (s)he won’t tell you how much (s)he appreciates you (even if (s)he does). Neither is Capricorn very theatrical so (s)he won’t enjoy Leo’s sometimes dramatic style, and maybe (s)he doesn’t even understand you very well. Moreover, Capricorn likes dominating, or at least (s)he doesn’t allow being dominated. And that makes any sensible Leo go crazy, because Leo wants to be in charge!

Capricorn is a very stubborn Earth sign and it is very hard to convince him/her to open his/her heart. You will need much patience especially since Capricorn is also devious… You will always move in a roundabout way with a Capricorn. (S)He finally gets where (s)he has to, but not very quickly.

And here is the introduction to my compatibility with Lars:

Libra and Capricorn? Don’t think so. Unless you are willing to get bored for the rest of your life. Big time.

My immediate reaction to this:  YIKES..

….in other news.  I had a great trip out this past weekend to Boston to visit Kate or ktull, as she is sometimes referred to.  We made cookies.  They often broke when we tried to frost them with our extreme frosting but that is okay–they still tasted v good.   Kate also taught me some new pizza recipes which I will have to conjure up one of these days.  Was also inspired to organize my life after seeing how organized ktull and swaldo are.   OMG why can’t I do laundry and keep a clean fridge!? Why!?


Friday, February 13th, 2009

Today is Friday the 13th

A black cat crossed my path yesterday night.  I have never seen said black cat in our condo complex, before–so I can only assume it was sent by satan.  I don’t even like cats!

There are 666 emails in my spam box right now, damn you satan. 

And I am flying this evening!  I am tempting fate. 

In other news…in a true sign that I will be a horrible mother, I am enrolling myself in a UM RCT related to fish oil and post partum depression.  This will involve me taking a supplement each day that will either be a placebo or some form of fish oil.   I am having my student worker review the consent form to make sure I’m not signing my life away because she is very excited about the baby and doesn’t want anything to happen to it so that she can babysit it every Saturday night while Lars and I go out and get trashed.  Typical. 

Lars wants to know if fish oil is like snake oil and the honest answer is, I just don’t know.  We’ll find out if I was in the placebo group after the study is done, though.

Megan vs. The Sleep

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

I don’t sleep much these days. Sure–I have no problems falling asleep. But then I wake up at 2, 3, 4 am and I just sit there–tired and staring at the temperature gauge that illuminates the temperature and time on our ceiling. (This may sound weird but it is a device I have learned to love and trust living in Ann Arbor–although at a certain point its just “cold” or “hot”). I look at Lars, sleeping soundly next to me. Sometimes I kick him or tell him its “cuddle time”—but I don’t think I even like cuddling. I think I just want to wake him up! I’m horrible :(.

Since I’m wide awake but only semi-lucid–it seems like the perfect time to make a list about being pregnant and the things I think about at 4am.

  1. My stomach is hard for the first time in my life. It is also mildly convex.
  2. I crave Gala Apples. I could eat them non-stop, all day long. It is probably better than craving Skittles. Oh wait–I crave those, too. Ooooh…and oatmeal. And cherry tomatoes.
  3. I like terrifying Lars about how he is going to have to cut the umbilical cord. This is something he does not want to do. In fact, he tells me the entire process of pregnancy kind of freaks him out. But he loves baby. I showed him a diagram of baby at 16 weeks and he said baby had a cankle for a neck. Oh, Lars.
  4. I secretly wish we could channel our inner yuppie and get a volvo or a subaru for baby. Can you put those on a registry? My 2001 Honda Accord will have to do. On a related note, we went to Land of Nod in Chicago this past weekend and I was semi-disgusted at the cost of everything–yet I still wanted to buy the zillion dollar stroller, carseat and high chair at the same time.
  5. I feel like if your biggest fear is how you are going to do the dishes and the laundry when the baby comes, then that’s not really a big fear at all. I mean, I struggle with that now!
  6. People’s generosity and happiness when they find out we are pregnant amazes me. We have such wonderful friends and family–and its nice to both nest in both your home and nest among the people who care for you.
  7. Baby’s first road trip aims to be Arkansas in September! Unless Lars finds a way to convince me to go to the Porcupine Mountains the first few weeks of my maternity leave. (note to readers, I am snorting in disbelief as I write this).
  8. We find out the sex of baby on March 2nd!!!! We will sing it from the rooftops when we find out. We have a trio of girls’ names that are ready to go. Boy’s names–not so much.
  9. Baby Jensen is due July 29th (a Leo!—the rockstar extrovert of the signs! So like Baby’s Father…). I’ll bet you’re all super jealous that I will be pregnant in the middle of summer in hot and humid Michigan. Well, the good news is that we have a pool. Lars will, on any given summer evening, probably be able to look out our patio window and just see my bump floating in the pool out back. Gracias a Dio para the pool.

Okay stopping at nine. Now that I’m “out” in the blogger world about having this sucker, I aim to talk only about all my aches, pains, and my fears of changing a diaper on an airplane when turbulence hits. I’m pretty sure I could squeeze a mighty good number of entries out of the last fear…and trust me, it is a fear. It should be for you, too. Especially if you are on the same plane as me.

How To Root for a Superbowl You’re Apathetic About–A Play in One (1) Act

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009

Megan: Who are we rooting for in the superbowl?
Lars: I dunno–I guess maybe the Cardinals? They’re the underdog. Plus Kurt Warner seems like a quality guy even though he is hyper-religious.
Megan: Yeah, he has a good story….

(Megan spends five minutes googling the life story of Kurt Warner so as to re-enforce her earlier statement)

Megan: Lars! Kurt Warner did a public service announcement against stem cell research!
Lars: Wut! Find out Ben Roethlesberger’s stance on stem cell research!
Lars: I guess we’re going with the Steelers.

…exit stage left.

And that is how you root for a superbowl team.

Why America?!? Why!!!?

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

A top story on CNN right now is about the snuggie and its “cult following”. So much worse than a Chia Pet.

At the end, they talk about snuggie expansions. Including “Baby Snuggie”. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I feel I am fueling the fire and I hate myself for it. 🙁